Books recommended by Bob for managers and non-managers who aim to be leaders...
Love + Work
Review: Find what you love at work! Bob's Rating - 5 Stars
“Love + Work” by Marcus Buckingham, Harvard Business Review Press, Boston, Massachusetts, 2022.
I’m not sure how to write this review – and having written more than 100 previously – that may be a curious thing to say. But having read Love + Work, I know that author Marcus Buckingham will immediately understand. Not understand why I’m having difficulty, for that’s my reason, but understand that it’s not the process of writing the review that’s important to others, but the outcome. The process (the activity of writing) is very important to me, but to you, the reader, it’s the outcome – the review that’s important.
Serendipity? I had three similar experiences to Marcus Buckingham that endeared me to this book – you may find others – or none (more on one of these shortly). And that’s one of the key themes, to find what Marcus calls your “red threads”, your uniqueness. To find the “what” of your work role, the activities that turn you on, and are the important things that will make you love your work. As he says, “Find what you love, and love what you do”. I’ll be a bit cheeky here and give one of my own quotes which I think sums up Marcus’ philosophy about work, “You should find something you like doing so much that you’d do it for nothing – then find someone who will pay you for doing it”.
As an example of finding this love, Marcus asks, “Do you have a chance to use your strengths every day? In the last week, have you felt excited to work every day?”.
To find out what you love to do, Marcus, suggests that you’ll need to learn a new language, the language of love – this is not the traditional notion of “romantic love” (although he does discuss that in relation to work), but the love of work.
The very first word to learn in this language is Wyrd. It’s pronounced the same as weird but it’s a noun, as in “You have a Wyrd.” Apparently, it’s an ancient Norse term and the source of your Wyrd is all the activities (or threads) that literally turn you on and make you uniquely you. Marcus terms these your “red threads”. And if you can find these, you’ll be able to seek out work that includes these red threads and provides you with satisfaction, motivation and engagement (later in the book, Marcus suggests ways that employers, managers and leaders can provide strategies for allowing different people doing similar jobs, to find their red threads).
Which brings me to one of the experiences I had that was similar to Marcus’ and which started him down the path of identifying his red threads and ultimately establishing his Wyrd as a world class researcher of what makes people unique. It happened when he was nine and in one of the four “House” teams set up by his school to create team loyalties and competitiveness. One day in athletics, as boys were attempting the high-jump, Marcus happened to look around at the boys watching, and as a boy ran up to the high-jump bar, the watchers all lifted a leg off the ground. This happened for all jumpers, irrespective of which House they represented. Apparently, they were emphasising with the jumper through their mirror neurons. As Marcus points out, Giacomo Rizzolatti, and his team discovered the existence of these mirror neurons, and that “the leg lifting was a manifestation of our instinctive response to mirror the emotions and actions of others”.
Yet interestingly, when Marcus asked boys after the event, “Why did you lift your leg when another boy was jumping?”, they all denied it! This experience was the start of Marcus identifying one of his red threads, which later in life would lead to many people-research projects and writing books such as “Love + Work”.
My experience was similar to Marcus’, only mine happened when I was 16. I too was fascinated, well, to be truthful, I found it more humorous at the time, to see the boys lifting their leg at the high-jump attempts. Nor did I ask the boys why they did it – I ruminated on it. My “red thread” from this experience was different and took me quite some years to eventually develop a Wyrd that has become a lifelong desire to understand how people learn.
In Love + Work you’ll find many great activities/questions/suggestions to help you develop your own Wyrd, such as the Red Thread Questionnaire, and to whet your appetite, here’s a snippet:
“When was the last time . . .
. . . you lost track of time?
. . . you instinctively volunteered for something?
. . . someone had to tear you away from what you were doing?”
This is necessarily one of the longest reviews I have written, and if there’s one comment I would make (and it’s probably reflected in the length of this review), is that Marcus does (for me) take considerable time to get to the key points of the discussion. However, take the time, please read this book, and find your Wyrd – you’ll find that your time is really well spent and may indeed change some of the things (or activities) you look for in your current work, or perhaps future career role.
Highly recommended – it’s probably Marcus Buckingham’s best book.
Bob Selden, www.bobselden.com
People Skills: How To Assert Yourself, Listen To Others, And Resolve Conflicts
Bob's Rating - 5 Stars
Although “People Skills” was first published in 1986, I feel obliged to review it as the principles and lessons espoused by Robert Bolton are timeless. In fact it is probably one of the most used books in my collection (I even have the paperback version covered in plastic and it’s never far from my desk).
“People Skills” is not a book that one sits down and reads from cover to cover. It’s a book where you might read a chapter that relates to one of your underused skills (such as assertion) for your own development, or when you are faced with a difficult situation (such as managing a critical conflict). “People Skills” covers all the essential communication skills such as reflective listening, assertion and conflict management. Not only does Bolton provide the theory behind these skills, but he also gives short scenarios and great practical examples of how each can be applied.
Described by the publisher as a “communication skills handbook”, “People Skills” should be essential reading for every manager. In fact it should be the standard text for all “Management 101” courses and would add tremendously to the skill set of our younger generation by being used as a standard high school text.
Don’t be put off by this textbook description as it is highly readable and a must for all practising managers. Make sure you have a copy to refer to when next you are faced with that difficult “people” issue.
Lead with a Story
Bob's Rating - 5 Stars
As I read this book, it put me in mind of so many stories I’ve heard and experienced in my own management career. In short, I was hooked with the stories penned by Paul Smith, which led me to think about my own stories. It also started me thinking about how I could use more stories in my own work. But wait, I’m getting ahead of myself.
In “Lead With a Story”, Smith sets out with the aim of having the reader “start crafting, collecting, and telling stories today”. All the stories are about particular aspects of leadership and how stories can assist the manager navigate successfully through various leadership challenges.
The stories are grouped into five areas of leadership – Envision Success, Create an Environment for Winning, Energize the Team, Educate People and Empower Others – the five “Es”. I’m not sure that this structure is useful, but some readers may find this a convenient way to go quickly to their category of interest. I personally think it’s a bit of a stretch trying to massage subjects into a catchy structure. However, that does not take away from the richness and usefulness of the book.
Each chapter is almost completely taken up with two, three or more stories to illustrate the author’s point which is put simply and succinctly. Smith models what he is asking us to do by letting the stories do the talking. Very impressive.
Chapters also conclude with “Summaries and Exercises”. I found these useful as a chapter summary, yet light-on as either self or team exercises. If there is one aspect where this book could be improved, this would be it.
As you would expect, there’s also a chapter on how to craft your own stories and numerous suggestions throughout on how to use or adapt the stories presented in the book.
At the time of reviewing this book, I had a colleague ask me for some advice about a particularly challenging session he was about to facilitate on work pressures and burnout, with a somewhat sceptical audience. Smith’s points about stories and how they bring people into your way of thinking immediately sprung to mind. I challenged my colleague to find a story he could relate. My colleague went away and thought about his session. He came back with a brilliant story about how a pilot on an international flight had recently saved a near disaster when a door blew out in mid-flight. The pilot went on to talk about the way this event had affected him at the time and subsequently. My colleague’s session went really well as the participants discussed the pilot’s experience and how similar it was to their own situation. Hooked!
I think this book should be essential reading for every manager. Apart from the impact the book will have on the way managers communicate, as Smith points out in the introduction “Some (stories) will make you laugh, some might make you cry (I did!), most will make you think. More important, I hope this book makes you do something”. Me too!
Winning with a Culture of Recognition: Recognition Strategies at the World's Most Admired Companies
Bob's Rating - 5 Stars
Eric Mosley and Derek Irvine in “Winning with a Culture of Recognition” set out to publicise and bring to front of mind, a long-held but less practised truism – “recognition is a sound management method”.
But this is not your standard “pat on the back for a job well done” recognition. Nor is it the old “recognition award” program (they contend that these fall short of their true potential because they are layered onto a culture and not an integral part of it).
Their book is about making recognition a strategic and measurable imperative.
Yet, at its heart, Mosley and Irvine’s philosophy of giving recognition is that it is best done locally, personally and by managers and colleagues alike.
So how can it be strategic?
As the authors point out, recognition when left to local managers and colleagues to give, works well in small organisations, but is ineffective in large enterprises.
So, strategic recognition is the practice of integrating recognition with other management practices. It’s thus linked to the corporate values and delivers employee engagement. For example, it can reinforce values such as respect, integrity, innovation and teamwork by linking recognition awards to the number of times behaviours reinforcing these values have been recognised. And, above all the strategies must be structured to meet defined goals and be measured and tracked.
The book is well written with plenty of practical examples, tips, “myth busters” and short scenarios. Part 1 is all about developing a recognition framework, whilst Part 2 shows you how to implement a strategic recognition practice.
Highly recommended for any thinking manager – particularly those who may be in a position to influence the future of their organisation.
Managing Transitions: Making the Most of Change
Bob's Rating - 5 Stars
In Managing Transitions, William Bridges sets out to help managers and others who want to introduce change – be it a total organisational restructure or simply trying to get people to do things differently.
The book is very practical – both easy to read and to apply the key concepts. Divided into four parts, Bridges takes the reader through how to understand just what change is, how it affects us, and most importantly, how to lead change. The key concept of leading change in this book, whilst not new, is the best that I have seen it explained. That is, that leading a change process is a three step process – “getting people to let go”, “managing the transition (between the old and the new)” and “launching the new beginning”.
I particularly liked the checklists at the end of each of the major chapters. Not only do they summarise the chapter content, they become a key planning tool for implementing change. They could also form the basis of a very effective training program on change.
This is one of the best books I have read on change and is highly recommended to anyone who is faced with leading a change process. As someone who has managed a lot of change management projects, this book is highly recommended for its practical approach to implementing change.
Defying Gravity: Adventures of a Corporate Entrepreneur
Bob's Rating - 4 Stars
I found this a difficult book to review. Not because it’s not good, it is. But, it’s different and that’s what I liked about Defying Gravity.
Defying Gravity is a novel. It’s the story of Tony, the “corporate entrepreneur” as he parents a new venture from inception (or conception) to birth. It’s also a guide on how to develop the skills and strategies needed to become a successful corporate entrepreneur.
The authors have done a great job of writing a novel that keeps the reader riveted throughout and at the same time, provides a good learning vehicle. This concept has been used before. However, this is one of the best examples I’ve seen.
To define, refine, categorise and summarise (make sure we get the key points!), the authors provide a 3/4 page summary of tips and suggestions following major chunks of Tony’s journey. This is where the management models and theories Tony is using (or not using) are précised and explained.
If you enjoy novels about personal self-discovery, this book is for you. If you are looking for clues on developing as a corporate entrepreneur, this book is also for you. Either way, Defying Gravity is a good read.
Leadership-Off the Wall
Bob's Rating - 5 Stars
There are thousands of books on leadership out there, so here’s another one! But, this one is different. In Leadership Off the Wall, author Paul Thornton has hit on of the real secret of success – great ideas are simple.
The book is simple, and short (52 pages), yet it has all the best leadership advice one could get from reading and summarising all those other leadership texts. Thornton’s idea is to condense leadership to seven key concepts. Where the simplicity comes in is that these core concepts are illustrated by quotes various leaders have on their walls – and how they use these in their leadership roles every day.
The chapters are short – only a few pages each – starting with an introductory paragraph about the concept (e.g. “Communicate Big Ideas”) and then quotes various leaders use to guide their thinking and actions.
Everyone who reads this book will find a favourite quote or two that resonates. Mine are:
“At least I now know that if the boss is a jerk, I have only myself to blame.” Deborah (Donaldson) Chamberlain, owner and president, Donaldson Media & Marketing Services, LLC,
“Leaders are known for the questions they ask, not the answers they give.” - sign on the office wall of Steve Arneson, Ph.D.
Every manager should read this book. The beauty of it is, that every manager CAN read this book – there are no excuses! Highly recommended for anyone who needs to take a leadership role in his or her life.
50 DOs for Everyday Leadership
Bob's Rating - 5 Stars
I had two initial concerns about the title of this book – “50 DOs for Everyday Leadership”. Firstly having just reviewed another supposed leadership book with “100” in the title (and found it wanting), I thought “Oh, no. How did they get the exact number 50? Are the authors really serious about leadership, or is it just another list of nice to dos?”. My second concern, had to do with the term “leadership” as it is often (to my mind) misused mistakenly for “management”.
The introduction soon put my mind at rest as to the authenticity of the 50 DOs. They have actually been condensed by Barrett, Wheatley and Townsend from a list of over 300 gathered through supervisor and manager interviews over a number of years. The title is indeed appropriate. When the authors say “DOs” they actually mean “to do”. Expect to work your way through this book, not read it!
Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In
Bob's Rating - 5 Stars
“Getting to Yes” is the benchmark by which all other books on negotiating should be judged. Authors Fisher, Patton and Ury have penned a book that has become a classic in its class as their negotiating principles have been used and quoted again and again the world over.
“Getting to Yes” is quite deceptive at first – it seems a little light weight as it is so easy to read. In fact one could read it from cover to cover in half a day quite easily. Yet, the four principles outlined in their negotiating method whilst simple in nature are comprehensive and effective. This is one of the first books on negotiating to break away from the “hard v’s soft” negotiating paradigm by introducing “principled” negotiating – ie. negotiating on the basis of both party’s needs, not positions. Fisher et al, also cover very well the “What if” situations where the other party maybe more powerful, uses dirty tricks or won’t play the game.
This book should be essential reading for everyone who has to negotiate with someone else over reaching a decision – and isn’t that all of us?
Managing Management Time
Bob's Rating - 5 Stars
Management Time: Who’s Got The Monkey? Has been one of the most popular articles ever published in HBR – and one of the most useful.
Oncken and Wass suggest that there are three types of management-imposed time pressure – Boss, System, and Self. Each has its own imperatives and if not managed, consequences.
Boss-imposed time pressure are activities, which must be accomplished, or we’ll suffer the consequences! System-imposed time pressures are those activities/requests which come from peers and colleagues. The penalties are not so severe or as swift, but we may still suffer if these things are not done.
Self-imposed time pressure are those activities we ourselves initiate or agree to do – particularly those things which have been upwardly delegated from people who report to us. These activities impact heavily on our discretionary time, and the penalty for not doing these is stress.
Oncken and Wass use the monkey analogy to make their point. When someone in our team talks about a “problem” they want to “run past us”, the monkey (in other words, the problem) is very clearly on their back. But when we respond with something like “Well, I haven’t got time right now, but leave it with me”, the monkey immediately leaps from their shoulders to ours. We have just been on the receiving end of an excellent piece of upward delegation.
They suggest the way to deal with this is to develop the initiative of team members to take action. At the heart of their article is deciding which of five “levels of initiative” your people are at. It’s then a matter of helping each person progress through the five levels.
I’ve used this process helping managers improve their time management and delegation skills for over ten years. If you want to improve your productivity as a manager, this publication is highly recommended.
And if you really want to know what motivates all of us - this is essential reading. It's one of tghe key priniciples I've used throughout my consulancy and managerial career,
How to Manage in a Flat World
Bob's Rating - 5 Stars
I liked this book. The topic has been well researched and the book is carefully laid out. Each chapters starts with an overview, “Key Points” and concludes with a summary of “Learning Points”. This approach makes it easy for readers to get a quick gist of the chapter and key points and is also well suited to the big picture person. It would also be useful when it comes to implementing some of the ideas suggested.
There are plenty of case studies, vignettes and quotes from practising managers who vary across organisations, cultures and continents. Although I did find that at times the case studies became a little too numerous and one had to dig or re-trace to grasp the point being made. Nonetheless, they were most valuable to understanding the theme of the chapter.
To get all the subtle messages as well as the key points Bloch and Whitely make, it is necessary to read the book in-depth. This is not a book to be skimmed over. However, if you are in a hurry it would be easy to go to the last chapter and review the 10 key points for managing in a flat world. In fact some readers may wish to start there.
In terms of content, there are many excellent tips, suggestions and proven techniques (from practising managers) that will assist managers who need to manage virtual or widely dispersed teams. Two that stood out for me were:
- Communication requires an emotional commitment to engage, and
- It is easier to overcome the limitations of virtual contact if there is a rapport between individuals
Of course, the authors go on to explain how to implement these ideas. One quote from Dadvid Grigson, CEO, Reuters is also memorable:
- “Managing your people is often less urgent, but is always more important”
I would highly recommend this book to anyone who has to manage virtual, multicultural or multinational teams.
Leadership and Self-Deception: Getting Out of the Box
Bob's Rating - 5 Stars
In “Leadership and Self-deception”, the people at the Arbinger Institute (authors) have created a book that’s extremely thought provoking when it comes to leadership. Intended for anyone in a leadership situation, unlike many books on leadership, “Leadership and Self-deception” does not explain what leadership is. Rather, it encourages the reader to self reflect and decide for themselves what day-to-day thoughts lead to being a better leader. But even that description does the book an injustice.
The central and very simple message in the book is that we are all in what the authors call “the box”. This happens when we are not leading effectively, merely thinking about ourselves and people as objects rather than people. To get “out of the box” takes a great deal of self discipline. As the authors suggest, when we have a choice to make about how we are going to treat someone else, we always know the right decision. We can honour the decision we know to be right, or we can reject it, thus deceiving ourselves. If we reject the more appropriate choice, we then look for reasons to support our self-deception. And so we stay “in the box”. Getting out of the box means honouring the better alternative choice.
This is a great book. Written more in the form of a novel, I found myself compelled to keep reading to the end. I even found myself reacting differently to my own thoughts on how to interact with others.
I could not recommend this book more highly for anyone interested in becoming a better leader – in fact for anyone wishing to improve their people relationships.
Inspirational Manager: How to Build Relationships that Deliver Results
Bob's Rating - 5 Stars
The title “Inspirational Manager” is interesting. Why? There’s no “The” in front of “Inspirational Manager”. It seems as though the author is personalising the book for each reader, i.e. it is possible that you and I can become an inspirational manager. This is unlike so many other books of this genre that exalt “the (often mythical) inspirational manager” in such terms that us mere mortals can not aspire to emulate.
Judith Leary-Joyce has many years of experience consulting with, training or coaching real managers and the basis for this book lies in the story of 12 such real managers. It is packed with great advice and tips for managers on all the important management responsibilities – recruiting, managing performance, delegating, team building and so on. Additionally it covers issues that are sometimes not covered in other management books, such as “Focusing your attention”, “The beliefs of an inspirational manager” and “Keep on learning”.
Inspirational manager has useful summaries at the end of each chapter plus an Action Plan for this particular topic that is neatly divided into “Today”, “Next week” and “Next month”. This makes it very easy to immediately implement an idea that you like. A highly recommended read for all managers.
Connecting the Dots: How to make the most of your later-life career and retirement transitions
Bob's Rating - 5 Stars
This is a great book for anyone considering a career change - and the latest edition caters specifically for the situations brought about by Covid.
As author Humphrey Armstrong says . . . "With ‘The Great Resignation’ getting underway, combined with some people choosing to move back overseas as borders re-open, local job opportunities for seniors are going to be on the rise.
However to be successful, job hunting seniors now need to be more creative and flexible around renumeration expectations. Interestingly, the full meaning of the term remuneration includes all the ways in which a worker/employee is compensated for their labour. With this in mind, the value of work has many ‘currency’ rewards in addition to money, especially, if currency is defined as being anything of either tangible or intangible value to either employer or employee. For example, being able to work flexibly, both where and also in a time of their choosing can be of considerable personal benefit."
I've worked with Humphrey on many assignments for over 20 years and he is one of the most knowledgable people I have ever met that truly understands people, their motivation, their relationships, their career challenges and aspirartions. This is a highly practical book, that anyone can pick up and use immediately.
Stolen Focus
Bob's Rating: 5 Stars
This is a very well written book which covers a difficult subject through the telling of many personal stories and copious interviews with world experts in the fields of psychology, economics, technology and business.
Principle tenet of the book is our diminishing lack of long-term focus to truly understand things in depth as we now gain just a superficial impression of the subject because of our tech habits which (subconsciously) encourage us to skip quickly from one topic to another. Hari posits that this lack of focus has been exacerbated by the increase in speed of access to information through the ever increasing sophisticated technology we use every day.
The book starts with the story of a tour of Gracelands with Hari’s Elvis Presley-loving godson’s lack of concentration. At 19, his godson spent every waking minute "alternating between WhatsApp, Snapchat, pornography and YouTube. It was like he was whirring at the speed of Snapchat where nothing still or serious could touch him.", writes Hari.
For example, in Elvis's infamous Jungle Room at Gracelands, Hari got frustrated with his godson's inattention and tried to grab his phone. The boy stormed off but later, staying at the Heartbreak Hotel, confessed something to his godfather: "I know something's really wrong here but I don't know what it is."
And in that same Gracelands experience, Hari observed other visitors gazing at their (supplied) tablet with the Jungle Room pictured in all its detail – swiping left and right on their screens - rather than looking at the actual Jungle Room in which they were standing! There were no human tour guides, merely tablets that programmed visitors through the estate.
And this experience at Gracelands with his 19 year-old godson together with his observations of other visitors, made up Hari’s mind to investigate the disaster that is our current inability to concentrate. In fact, it started Hari on a two-year world tour interviewing over 300 experts to pinpoint 12 factors that can make our attention better or worse.
Principle amongst these factors, is the impact of technology. However, he found that brain inflammation caused by air pollution, brain fog from a diet that causes energy spikes and crashes, lack of sleep and less time outdoors, and the outdated over structured nature of schooling. are also major contributors to our loss of attention.
And it’s his research findings in what the big tech companies do with the data they gain from us, that raised my concerns. This is both an enlightening and quite frightening book. Frightening, because through extensive research, Hari shows how the big tech companies such as Facebook and co, are using our personal data and web surfing preferences to build profiles for sale to other companies that can trap and manipulate us – something that I’ve long suspected and now had confirmed.
As Hari points out, "Every time you open Facebook or TikTok or whatever it is, they [the tech companies] start to make money. The more often you pick it up the more money they make, the longer you scroll the more money they make. All of their technical brilliance is geared to one thing - how can we get people to pick up more and stay on longer. As long as that's their business model, they will invent more and more inventive ways to hack and invade our attention." And he’s not talking about “staying on longer on one topic”, but skipping from one to another.
However, the book is also enlightening, because he recommends things we can do to start arresting this trend. And these recommendations are both at a personal and wider community level.
At a personal level, and during his bout of Corona virus, he decided to make six changes in his life: a commitment to stop switching tasks so much; instead of recriminating, when finding himself distracted, to get into a “flow state, and access your mind’s own ability to focus deeply”; to take six months off every year from social media; to go for a walk for an hour each day without his phone; to get a solid eight hours sleep every night; and finally, playing freely with his nieces and nephews (Hari’s not a parent) without structuring their play, in order to help himself and they, learn to focus on things that are of real interest to each individual.
All six personal commitments maybe tough to take on, but are worth our consideration.
At a wider community level, Hari lists many organisations that are part of what he terms the “Attention Rebellion”, and how to contact them. These are “movements” that are facing our biggest crisis – a lack of focus to pay serious attention to one of the major challenges facing humanity, global warming.
As I said earlier, this is both a frightening and enlightening book that every one should read and make some personal decisions to improve our focus.
Difficult Conversations: How to discuss what matters most
Bob's Recommendation - 4 Stars
In Difficult Conversations, the authors Stone, Patton and Heen set out to de-mystify the problems we get into in our daily conversations.
I found this book both enlightening and difficult. Enlightening because of the simple concepts and principles one should adopt when handling difficult conversations. For example, classifying all conversations into:
· The “What Happened ?” Conversation
· The Feelings Conversation
· The Identity Conversation
All of these made sense and will be very useful for me from now on. There were also plenty of examples to illustrate. And that’s where I found this book difficult. For me, there were too many examples and sub sections of sub sections – I had to go back a number of times to make the various connections.
Having said that, conversations are a difficult topic to write about. Once a spoken sentence is put onto a page, it can be interpreted in a number of ways. I would have liked to have seen more “big picture” frameworks and diagrams to keep me on track and connected to the author’s current point or topic.
Recommended for serious students of communication.
Metaphors in Mind: Transformation Through Symbolic Modelling
Bob's Rating - 5 Stars
Lawley and Tompkins set out to analyse, then chronicle the therapeutic approaches and methods of David J. Grove, creator of Clean Language. Clean language is a simple method of having the client amplify the metaphors they often use when describing a traumatic experience. The key to Clean Language is to use the client’s exact words without inference in a structured process that enables the client to self discover the cause of their problem.
Through a process of observing Grove, analysing client transcripts, being clients of Grove’s themselves, and finally binging their own expertise and experience to bear, they have developed a process described as Symbolic Modelling.
The authors intimate that the process is equally applicable by a manager or teacher as it is by a therapist – and they are right. The challenge for anyone reading this book who is not a therapist, is to be able to discern the extent to which they need to study the model in order to apply it in their situation. Although I would argue that this is a tough challenge, Lawley and Tompkins have helped by designing the book in a manner that enables one to start at various parts of the book, depending on ones style and need.
The book is well written and well laid out. It features many practical examples and includes chapters that takes one through entire client transcripts.
As a management writer myself and not a therapist, I think the ordinary manager may struggle to study enough of the model to be able to apply it in day to day situations. Nether-the-less, the underpinning approach of clean language would be an immeasurable help to any practising manager. I know it has certainly changed my own approach when helping people solve their issues. I would think it should be compulsory reading for all therapists and certainly I would highly recommend it to any manager or teacher who is really interested in helping others develop.
The New Manager's Handbook
Bob's Rating - 5 Stars
I liked this book. It’s succinct, to the point and can be read in just a couple of hours (max). What’s more, the messages are spot on!
Each chapter has only three pages (that’s unique) and concludes with three tips for implementing the idea or topic. It’s well written and covers the majority of things a new manager should consider.
I very much like the starting point of the book “Give Feedback”. And Stettner is talking about giving praise, not criticism (giving criticism only comes toward the end of the book). This is a great way for a new manager to set a positive example to the people he or she is going to manage. The second chapter is about “How to make the best of bad news), something that the new manager is most likely to encounter very early in the new role. The book topics flow nicely from there, including some great tips on how to impress your boss.
If you are looking for a short, introductory book on the topic of management, or perhaps as a gift for someone who has just been promoted, this book would be ideal. For the serious student of management, it would go well as a primer to be followed by a more detailed book later.
Skills for New Managers
Bob's Rating - 5 Stars
I like the approach the author Morey Stettner takes with this book for new managers. As one would expect, it covers most of the topics a new manager would need – and they are handled in a clear and practical way that make it easy to absorb and apply. In addition to that, Stettner is a realist. He doesn’t presume to “know it all” and that his suggestions will fit every new manager’s style or needs. He asks new managers to try them out and adjust to suit. This is an unusual and unpretentious approach for a management “how to” book.
The book starts with asking the new manager to develop his or her personal credo by thinking about the qualities of good managers he/she has previously known or worked for. There’s a practical exercise, “My favourite manager”, that makes this task easy. Once again, the realistic approach comes into play with Stettner making sure that the new manager adjusts his/her ideal to account for their current organisational culture.
I particularly liked his advice on how to start one’s first meeting with new staff to create that all important first impression. I also liked the chapter on “listening” which gives some excellent, practical tips such as the three step tactic of how to avoid becoming defensive – Patience-Ask-Confirm.
The many practical examples made it easy to see how the author’s ideas might work in practice. However, it was a little frustrating when some chapters started with a case study to illustrate the problem, but did not finish the case with examples of how the manager solved the problem (I expected this to happen later in the chapter). I also found some examples a little dated (e.g. “type out your answers”) and there was no mention of a 360 degree tool when discussing how the new manager might seek feedback.
I would have also liked to see more emphasis given to planning and running meetings. There was no mention of how to manage emails. For most new managers these two tasks take a lot of time and focus.
However, overall these are minor criticisms. It’s nice to read a book written by a true professional who understands social psychology and how businesses work, but who doesn’t need to elaborate or preach about either. It’s just full of good, plain, workable advice. Highly recommended for any new manager.
Clean Language: Revealing Metaphors and Opening Minds
Bob's Rating - 4 Stars
“Clean” language, developed originally by David Grove, has been an interest of mine since I read “Metaphors in Mind” (Lawley and Tomkins). So, I was very interested to see the approach taken by Wendy Sullivan and Judy Rees. I’m impressed by this book’s, simplicity and practicality. For the uninitiated or novice “clean” user, this book has some great application strategies, techniques and tips.
For those unfamiliar with the concept of “clean” questioning, it is a way of helping another person find answers without giving advice. This may sound similar to the contemporary model of “coaching”, so popular today, particularly in the business context. However, “clean” is substantially different. “Clean” is as clean as possible of the questioner’s assumptions, opinions and metaphors. Furthermore, although listening is an integral component of the process of clean, it definitely does not use techniques such as paraphrasing, summarising etc, for these automatically provide the opinion of the questioner.
Chapter headings are not normally my cup of tea (there’s a metaphor for you!). However, Sullivan and Rees have selected some gems that add to the explanation and the reader’s understanding of “clean”. Two that particularly sum this up are, “No-one ever listened themselves out of a job” (Colin Coolidge, U.S. president) and “The quality of your attention determines the quality of other people’s thinking” (Nancy Kline).
As Sullivan and Rees suggest in their introduction, the book is “designed to put Clean Language in people’s hands, worldwide, ready to be used whenever it could be valuable”. To my mind, they have achieved their aim. The book has 16 chapters, each of which has a select number of practical activities which enable the reader to practise the concepts. There are just 12 “clean” questions and each is covered in detail. They form three clusters, Developing Questions (to encourage a person to become clear about what’s true for them), Sequence and Source Questions (to tease out the sequence of events), Intention Questions (to help the person establish what they would like to change).
This is a great book. If you are really interested in helping other people, then I would suggest reading this book, undertaking the activities, then reading it again. It’s one that I will certainly be using in my role as management and leadership coach and facilitator. Highly recommended.
Conversation Transformation: Recognize and Overcome the 6 Most Destructive Communication Patterns
Bob's Rating - 5 Stars
It would be unfair to review “Conversation Transformation” purely as a book. “Conversation Transformation” is in fact merely one component of a very good blended learning process. For example, readers are encouraged to take an online pre and post-test of their communication skills. In addition to the comprehensive and well-designed learning exercises throughout the book, the reader is also encouraged to visit online for further exercises or to hear dialogue (for example, because this book is about conversations, it’s almost impossible to illustrate voice tone in the written word).
The basic concept behind “Conversation Transformation” is that communication breakdown comes about because of the words used or the way the messages are framed, not because of the nature of the people or the complexity of the issue. What a refreshing change the authors bring to the topic of communication! So many books on the subject unfortunately try to turn the reader into an amateur psychologist. By contrast, the authors of “Conversation Transformation” focus on the real reasons communications break down – the words people use or the way they are expressed.
The good news about this approach is that every one of us can learn how to improve our communication merely by changing what and how we say things. The simple three step learning approach the authors suggest is:
1. Awareness – Seeing the way out of your rut through realisation, attention and observation.
2. Action – Getting into your new groove by substituting a new behaviour for an old one.
3. Practice – Staying in the groove by using behaviours that are rewarding, intensive and incremental.
Although this book could be described as quite dense or intense, it is necessarily so. This may be challenging for the reader with a short attention span. However, if one gets a gist of the topic, it is easy to jump straight to the exercises to get into action. In fact, there are occasions in the book where the authors suggest such a tactic.
In terms of the content, the book covers six problematic communication behaviours, from yes-buts to verbal attacks. I particularly liked the section on yes-buts – it was the first of the six and made such good common sense that it should engage the reader in wanting to learn more, straight away.
If there was one criticism I had of the book (and it’s only a small one), there were no visuals. It’s appreciated that we are talking about conversation, so that may be difficult. One area where a visual would work well is in the funnel analogy for the four types of questions.
Whilst the book can be read and used as a stand-alone guide for improving one’s conversations and overall communication skills, it would probably be more effective to involve as many of the learning experiences offered. My recommendation is to buy the book and do as many of the online activities as suits your needs. “Conversation Transformation” will not only transform your conversations, it will transform your relationships.
Leadership Strategies for Women: Lessons from Four Queens on Leadership and Career Development
Bob's Rating - 5 Stars
Paul Vanderbroeck, a historian, former HR Executive and Leadership Coach has written a fascinating book on leadership; to be more specific, on leadership strategies for women.
Based on the historical stories of four famous queens – Cleopatra, Isabella, Elizabeth I and Catherine the Great – Vanderbroeck uses their stories to enlighten today’s women leaders and potential women leaders on how to fully develop their leadership potential.
The book is very well structured and well written. One can immediately tell that Vanderbroeck is an experienced leadership coach. The introduction clearly sets out why the book was written; why these particular Queens were chosen to expound the author's leadership strategies; what the reader may expect to find in the book; and finally how to get the most out of the book.
True to his word, the author takes us through the development of each Queen’s career as a leader. Vanderbroeck does not sugar-coat their stories, each Queen’s particular strengths and weaknesses are laid bare, and that makes very useful learning for the reader. Each story concludes with what today’s women leaders can learn from this Queen, including a short list of the top six Do’s and Don’ts.
In addition to this being a very interesting read, what I particularly liked about the book is the author’s ability to lay out some very clear guidelines for developing both a successful career and a leadership persona for women in what is still very much a man’s world when it comes to leadership.
Pieces of the Possible: How to commit to change
Bob's Rating - 5 Stars
“Pieces of the Possible” is an unusual book. It’s about change, and particularly personal change. Now, that’s not unusual – there are many books on this topic. The unusual and in this case spectacularly successful difference to the others, is that it written as a novel. Author Adrian Kirk admits in the Preface that he started writing the book in a telling fashion and didn’t like it. I’m glad he didn’t like the original as the book now does a great job of telling the story of the personal journey of change, the main character Tom takes.
Kirk also admits to being a novice in this style, which was evident in the first chapter. However, once the story moved to a more dialogue form, I was hooked.
Without wishing to spoil the story for readers, Tom experiences a car crash that places him in a coma. In this state he has a series of conversations with Gabriel that take Tom through the principles of change by relating them to Tom’s life experiences and particularly the choices Tom has made that has brought him to his current situation.
The principles of change – awareness, acceptance, desire, believe, let go and choose it – are similar to principles of change espoused by many others. The difference here is in the story and how they are unveiled for Tom.
Highly recommended for those thinking about change – perhaps a New Year’s resolution? – or for anyone who just wants a good read.
Smile: Sell More with Amazing Customer Service. The Essential 60-Minute Crash Course
Bob's Rating - 5 Stars
Yes it’s basic. Yes you’ve probably heard it all before. Yes it’s short. And yes it’s ‘spot on’. Author Kirt Manecke has written a great book on customer service. It’s short – 98 pages – with each section going for one or at most, two pages. For example Tip No. 2 ‘Make a Friend’ is covered in one paragraph followed by a ‘Here’s How’ section of three short steps. The Tip is covered in less than one page. The book follows this simple and easy to follow format throughout. And it’s all covered in five chapters – “The Top Ten”, “Keep Them Smiling”, “Sell More”, “When There’s a Problem” and “Create a Customer for Life”.
Chapter One starts with Manecke’s ‘The Top Ten’ of customer service and sales techniques. They are all tried and tested – meaning ‘true’ – they actually work. I was thinking about ‘Smile’ when I had two service experiences yesterday. The first was a local stationery supplier (not one of the chains) and when I entered the store I thought no-one was there. I expected someone to come from the back to serve me. After what seemed like a few minutes I looked around to see the service person sitting on a stool behind the counter in the corner – I had to actually approach him! By contrast, I then visited my local pharmacy where I was greeted as I entered by the service person with a bright smile and a warm “Hello”. On browsing the shelves, the Pharmacist then approached me and asked how he could help. This second experience typifies what Manecke is on about.
The book is aimed at anyone involved with customer service – be they managers, business owners or employees. I believe it would be great for use with employees as any service manager or business owner buying this book would probably already be up to speed on what’s required for excellent customer service. My experience has been that the owners who need it most, are unfortunately the least likely to buy it.
I have one small criticism – and it’s only a small one – and that’s the use of ‘consumer’ and ‘customer’ perhaps interchangeably in the introduction, or at least without a distinction being made between the two. A consumer is someone who uses your product or service and a customer is someone who buys your product or service. They may or may not be the same, but it is an important distinction particularly when marketing your products or services and does very much impact on customer service.
The Man Who Risked It All
Bob's Rating - 5 Stars
I didn’t know whether to review “The Man Who Risked It All” as either a novel or a self-help book, for it is both. For although the cover labels the book “a novel” in fact it does both brilliantly and seamlessly.
The story tells of a young man, Alan Greenmor, born of an American mother and French father who grew up in the US (speaking fluent French with his mother) and now living in Paris. The story begins with Alan about to take the first step towards his suicide from the Eiffel Tower, only to be persuaded to stop by a stranger who does a deal with him. The deal is that the man will look after Alan, put him back on the road to health, wealth and happiness; in exchange, Alan must do everything the man asks.
The early chapters are full of self-reflection as the stranger takes Alan through a process of self-development that is both stimulating and sometimes torturous. Mystery arrives when Alan finds himself being followed by strange men and women. Then of course, there is romance in the form of Audrey who appears in his life tumultuously, only to disappear mysteriously just as the romance is reaching its peak. That’s the novel component.
The dialogue between the stranger (now known as Dubrieul) and Alan takes Alan through an intense piece of psychotherapy that is easily followed and has many great messages for the reader – that’s the self-help bit.
Alan’s adventures in his work place add a further dimension to this novel – corporate politics and shareholder greed that Alan has to confront and overcome on his way to becoming a better person. In doing so, there’s a very clear message about the avarice of those who play the share market for their gain at the expense of the company’s long term future. Brilliant!
All in all an impressive novel and also very useful should you need some reminders about positive self-management.
Leadership and Self Perception: Getting out of the box
Bob's Rating - 5 Stars
In “Leadership and Self-deception”, the people at the Arbinger Institute (authors) have created a book that’s extremely thought provoking when it comes to leadership. Intended for anyone in a leadership situation, unlike many books on leadership, “Leadership and Self-deception” does not explain what leadership is. Rather, it encourages the reader to self reflect and decide for themselves what day-to-day thoughts lead to being a better leader. But even that description does the book an injustice.
The central and very simple message in the book is that we are all in what the authors call “the box”. This happens when we are not leading effectively, merely thinking about ourselves and people as objects rather than people. To get “out of the box” takes a great deal of self discipline. As the authors suggest, when we have a choice to make about how we are going to treat someone else, we always know the right decision. We can honour the decision we know to be right, or we can reject it, thus deceiving ourselves. If we reject the more appropriate choice, we then look for reasons to support our self-deception. And so we stay “in the box”. Getting out of the box means honouring the better alternative choice.
This is a great book. Written more in the form of a novel, I found myself compelled to keep reading to the end. I even found myself reacting differently to my own thoughts on how to interact with others.
I could not recommend this book more highly for anyone interested in becoming a better leader – in fact for anyone wishing to improve their people relationships.
Rapid Teamwork: Essential Steps to Transform Any Group Into a GREAT Team
Bob's Rating - 5 Stars
This is a GREAT book on teamwork and leadership. In fact as a reviewer of over 100 books on this topic, this is one of the best I’ve read in a long time.
Author Sean Glaze has written a novella based around a medium sized furniture firm whose directors undertake a team-building rafting experience. I’m normally in two minds about novellas as they can be really good or very ordinary. This one is really good – it is well written, the story captivating and the 5 essential messages well woven into the narrative.
Glaze clearly understands the difference between management and leadership, and groups and teams, something many authors struggle with. He also has a really good handle on process management within groups and teams and how to ask the “right questions” and design activities that bring participants to their own realisation about what needs to change if they are to be successful.
Highly recommended for all managers and leaders of teams.
Managing the Older Worker: How to Prepare for the New Organizational Order
Bob's Rating - 5 Stars
In a great book “Managing the Older Worker”, authors Cappelli and Novelli start out by debunking some of the common myths that abound about older workers. For example, myths such as “older workers will not stay as long” (their turnover rate is actually lower than younger workers); “older workers will have less physical and mental ability” (the authors show that knowledge and experience account for these), are just two.
I was particularly impressed with the business case the authors put for employing older workers. For employers, the authors’ extensive analysis of various research studies, is well described to define just what an older worker can bring to the workplace and how organisations really do need them. For instance, the things that older workers have in abundance – interpersonal skills and highly tuned cognitive ability – have increased in need in the workplace over recent decades by 36% and 35% respectively.
This book is timely. The average age of workers is getting older. Employers and indeed as the authors point out, governments need to be aware of not only what the older worker can bring to the workplace, but also how to best manage this growing workforce segment.
The book is well written with sufficient scenarios and short cases to show just how the authors’ suggestions have or are, working in practice.
It’s hard to find fault with this book. If I had to find one, I’d say that there is so much good information here about the older worker, that it takes a while to get through it all.
However, if you are an HR, L&D person or someone charged with employing, deploying, developing and training your organisation’s people, this book is a must read. Highly recommended.
The Unseen Leader: How history can help us rethink leadership
Bob's Rating - 5 Stars
This is a book that needed to be written. Why? To debunk the rubbish that has been written for many years about leadership theory based on historically “famous” leaders.
Leadership writers often promote a’ bias to action’ as one of the key characteristics of a good leader, whereas very early in The Unseen Leader: How History Can Help Us Rethink Leadership, author Martin Gutmann, introduces the Action Fallacy, – “Our persistent belief that while accountants or engineers may accomplish their work through quiet reflection and in a modest manner, leadership is characterized by energy and movement in the face of harrowing odds.” Gutmann goes on to say about writers postulating such unauthentic leadership as told in these historical stories, that, “They call it the Hero’s Journey”.
Leaders are often seen as heroes.
For example, Gutmann uses stories (often told, retold and used as learning vehicles in many ‘leadership ‘ development programs) about some of the people held up as famous leaders such as Shackleton and Churchill who were hailed as heroes for managing crises. However, as the author points out, such leaders are the known heroes for managing crises and it’s the unsung ones that we can learn from and in Churchill’s case, Gutmann does an excellent job of describing why the things he did that were not crisis driven nor action oriented, are examples of good leadership.
I loved the stories in this book that were so well researched and often showed a different perspective of historical leadership. As someone who has taught management, I often distinguish between management and leadership, and whilst not specifically articulated as such in this book, Gutmann’s analysis of the so-called excellent leadership, showed the key missing ingredient – effective management.
To emphasise the importance for those who aspire to become leaders, one of Gutmann’s final quotes, says it all, “Truly effective leaders, more often than not, forestall overly dramatic circumstances, either in their planning or in their handling of circumstances as they unfold”.
Highly recommended for those who want to know what is and what isn’t, “leadership”.
